Glimpse of 2014 - Unpopular Thoughts

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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Glimpse of 2014

My Life…
I never post about my personal life on blogs but this year is significant in my life because I have done a few things in real which were an inevitable part of my dreams.  I have a lot to speak, same as you do. But before I say something else, I seriously apologize for staying isolated from all my dear ones, friends and people who gave me a place in their heart… I may know it or may not know your name, your attachment with me but you know I respect it and Yes I did not give  a chance of interaction, I am aware of it, that is why I apologize honestly.  
Please forgive me if you can, I have reasons behind my silence. I can give you very crucial one- I am deeply in transformation phase of life, discovering my mysterious part.  So isolation is mandatory, because I am not capable of fulfilling the expectations of at least my response (I agree this is valid and genuine expectation).  I am in no position to even maintain that due to my plans.
So now the next thing is what are my plans? Here comes a very childish answer of mommy’s little girl that I am not comfortable with sharing for two reasons,-  the first there is no point of blabbering until you do something real  and second I still have to discover a platform to support what I plan. So whatever you have heard from different sources that information may not be true because only my family, siblings and me know exactly what I am up to.
I don’t want to cheat or lie to my people so all I asked for is Time. I know it is madness but this is what my truth is.
In 2014, the most memorable moment for me was that I abandoned my surname which represented my caste, religion and communism. I don’t want to be noticed because I had a royal historical surname, I am sorry I don’t see as most of you do, for me it is bone of contention in the way of world peace.
My soul does not belong to peace hampering things any longer, and I am only a seeker, I have questions and I find answers of them. Yes I am aware of my middle class traditional society and my non following behavior too. I checked on all cons and pros too and this is what I chose to be.  I want to live my every moment with my experiments as well I mix them with the experiences of my elders.  This is not the deadline of my behavior because I change every day and I grow.
Your mind which you use in artificial public behavior would deny understanding what I mean, but I know I am no different than any of you... You all are like me when you are either alone, or listen to music, or meditate o feel blessed.
At the end of 2014, I know that my inability of tackling questions, not responding on time would not hamper my closeness with some honest loving people. I will try to correct me as much as possible, so if you promise me not to ask from me where do I live? Do I have boyfriend? If yes who is he? If not why? When will I get married? What does my grandfather has left me in his will? What is the business of my parents and how much they earn? Which organization I am working for? How much salary do I get? Come and meet me soon… What is the name of my siblings and what do they do? Please do not ask anything more than how I am? Know my heart for being close to me… I think that shall be the place where you want to be in. … Make a deep connection. I am done with all artificial concerns of people... yes I mean it!
So what should you talk? You can talk about life, your understanding about it, religion, philosophies, the current problems of our world we live in, the situation of women and kids in villages and bottom level in the world and India, reasons of wars, farmer’s suicide, pollution, politics, environment, youth involvement in drugs, prevention and cure of these problems, your ambitions, your plans, science and what do you want to contribute in it before you die.  I love all these conversations because deeply I feel responsible as a human being for my society and for everything I do. My ambition is very big that I want to see a change in the world I live…. Perhaps because my love is not limited for the one who live next to me…
I love this entire planet and everyone in it so much that if something goes wrong anywhere I feel helpless and I feel responsible that what if there is a chance? What if my efforts bring change if not for many but for one person? What if I could spread hope and happiness? If not … I shall at least try. I will keep on trying until my soul says good bye to this world… Sorry I can’t wait for an incarnation to change this world. .. I start the change with my heart and I will maintain my honesty.  
 I know I alone can’t change the world, or there may be maximum possibility for me to end up being a laughing stock for many, but I don’t want to die doing something which is just a part of life not an ultimate aim… My each and every cell of the body turns against me if I think of not being the way I am.
I know some of you still manage my all tantrums, and for that I love you unconditionally. Please leave a message in inbox, or email me at with a note that yes you have read my blog and you would not ask any of above question I mentioned, leave your number. I will try to contact with you as soon as possible.
I know it does not seem fair that why am I so ruthless and cold? I should chat, Talk, and Roam. What I think of me? …. Well I don’t consider me anybody and I am not cold either. .. In the simplest word, have patience and keep faith if you really want answers.
ROFL, I did not expect that you would even read my full blog, Thank you!! I love you.
-          Namrata
May God Bless the world and everyone in it with happiness and Peace!
    Happy Christmas
“Happy New year 2015” J J J

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