Forced Marriage : A cultural Menace - Unpopular Thoughts

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Sunday, January 28, 2018

Forced Marriage : A cultural Menace

Parents who are unnecessarily worried about their son and daughter to get married sometimes cross the line. They harass psychologically and bring all sort of narratives to get children married forcefully. Does not it violate fundamental right to freedom? One should have right to decide when to get married and when not to. 
Parents use various emotional tools like ,-" We have given you birth for this day? " ,
"You are embarrassing us!",
"What sin did we commit to get a son/daughter like you?",
"You are the eldest! Think about your younger siblings.",
"No one can stay single.. What society will think?",
"You are huge disgrace and born enemy of us",
"Your father will die due to heart attack, if you don't marry with the girl/ boy he likes".... Seriously? We all tend to love our parent, and there is nothing wrong to stand by their side, but is it not a type of emotional abuse where they insist a person to make physical relations with someone unwillingly?  Marriages can be a type of sexual abuse when forced unwillingly. Gradually, when there is no other option left and due to scientific reasons of the release of oxytocin - the love happens. 
It is no where denied that they have given birth to us, but does that mean that they own entire life and children do not have any opinion at all.
Specially girls, when they want to study, they are forced into marriages as Indian parents (someone of them) consider that if girls don't get married, they will start doing vulgar activities or may even cast a slur on family-name, or may be they consider daughters as  headache so to avoid future troubles, they impose marriage. The same children of them which was suppose to be the symbol of love. Parents do not leave the possibility to chose love many times. 
 Parents want submission or respect? Parents go through a lot of hardship, and they deserve respect but imposing marriages, I wonder when this trend will end. 
Children are born in different times, their opinion, and choices are going to be different from the parent's generation. If something wrong was done in previous generation does that mean it should continue forever? 
What society will think?- Really society? which society where every one is a victim of own crimes. Society has different segments but unfortunately parents want to see the most primitive segment and consider that to be true.
Psychological harassment remains ultimate weapon.  They have emotional tool to blackmail children like having high BP, heart diseases, depression and various other forms where they tend to make children guilty of their condition. Its their fault not to see the genuine love
children hold for them.
Emotional abuse- Parents raise children, they know the triggers to raise sentiment. A type of emotional abuse is prevalent in society. Why is this decision imposed? I never understood that. 
I want forced marriages to be heinous crime where they push a girl or boy into marriages even when they know the disagreements and the level of discomfort. Human rights are violated in such scenario but there is no voice among intelligentsia to curb this social trauma.
Forced marriages hamper career , economic growth as well as lead to an unhappy married life. Today the youth is not that marriage centric. Marriage holds an important part but this generation is above from the level, at least some of us who are not getting married to get relief from the hormones or to mate. Marriage has different meaning and a huge emotional and physical responsibility, when parents will stop abusing their children and start understanding?
Until the law arrives? In the land of culture-- or in the land of broken heart and dreams, there leads a depression. 
Save the youth, specially girls. They need immediate support to get out the menace. Until they are given freedom to chose a life they dream - the empowerment will remain a distant dream.
- Namrata 

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