Small town : A prison of thoughts - Unpopular Thoughts

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Friday, February 2, 2018

Small town : A prison of thoughts


'The Girl from small town' is a tag which has narrow perception, and is enough to bring down someone's confidence level. A woman restricts herself more when she tries to see herself from the perspective of other people.  
Once I was talking to my school mate as in the world of technology, it is easy to find people and get connected through various social networking sites.
She was troubled with rejections she faces from the boys in 'arrange marriage meetings'. She regretted that she should have been from Delhi or from other metro cities as she assumed that girls from big cities do not face rejection.  I told her that she was beautiful, and she should focus on her career and find someone better than that .She is beautiful, and I mean it.
Her words made me thoughtful as she said,-" Wish I was from bigger cities like Delhi or Mumbai where you reside, the scenario would have been different"
Whether I was from bigger town?- No I was born and brought up in a village in the initial years of my education and later on  in small town schools. Not to mention I was never a high scorer yet I read for learning in my capacities as more than subjects my interest was into human nature and the problem associated with humanity.
I learnt about it constantly in my agony, happiness and every time silently in subconscious.
Yet, even if I never scored better people have that halo effect that I was intelligent. No I wasn't and still I am not. I learn small things but I apply that learnt thing in my practical life. Thanks to my circumstances that I had many friends but I could not make a connect with anyone. I do not think I was very open with anyone even when I was pursuing my master degree. I chatted a lot, played mischievous yet in spite of all the love and care I had for people, something always restricted me from sharing who I was...  perhaps because I observed them passing judgments on other while being sweet with me. So, that honesty was not present but galvanized.  
The world was same for me, all I did is-- I rejected their imposed behavior on me. When I behaved like the world wanted me to be, I felt caged, unhappy and slaughtered every time.
In Last couple of years, I just worked upon me -- Nowhere else. So, If someone thinks that I am due to cities, No, I am due to my courage. Courage does not make things easy when you start having voice for yourself, you shatter everything, you break everything in the process of building something new. I broke it, and sometimes it caused a level of discomfort with my loved ones too. However because they loved me, they gradually understood that I was not offending their norms, I was seeking for my liberation. 
The world is filled with legends, and I stand nowhere. However, I think being born in normal circumstances like many small town women, it makes me more connected with women of my age. No one is going to give you the freedom you want ladies, learn to #Disobey
#Disobey every time when your right is compromised in a diplomatic way. Talk, show and convince. 
#Disobey when you are taught to compromise with your self-respect just to pacify someone's ego.
#Disobey when you are reminded about your gender, about your limitations, do not listen to them.
#Disobey when your education is compromised, and you are forced into marriages, do not surrender.
Fear is like a dark cloud filled with thunder from far. Once you enter in it with determination - it is neither a cloud nor it has thunder. Only because we are not able to see the future, it discourages us. The fear takes advantage of our unclear vision, and insecurities. Once you understand the nature of fear-- Nothing is going to hurt you.
You are being manipulated in everyday life, and to my regret you are supporting that manipulation that being born into small towns will not allow you to have freedom. India has been a country of villages, not always big towns existed. Some earlier women like Savitri Bai Phule they opened the door of freedom in the society which was worse than ours. Society will never be at your side, until you stand for yourself.

- Namrata


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