The Coming out of Dutee Chand - Unpopular Thoughts

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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Coming out of Dutee Chand

Dutee Chand is the first athlete in India who came out of the closet and admitted her homosexual relationship, though kept the name of the person undisclosed.

The battle for coming out takes a lot of courage in India, as the culture is family oriented. 

Dutee faced problems with her family as she came out, and her case got the attention of media.

However, there are thousands of people who struggle to come out as – majority still consider that being gay is -if not crime but a joke.

Legally the article 377 which criminalized for ‘Being Gay’ has been improvised. On 6 September 2018, the Supreme Court of India ruled that the application of Section 377 to consensual homosexual sex between adults was unconstitutional, "irrational, indefensible and manifestly arbitrary", but that Section 377 remains in force relating to sex with minors, non-consensual sexual acts, and bestiality.

However, socially the LGBT community remains as a group of depressed aliens who are rejected by their friends, families and society.

Who is Dutee Chand?

Dutee Chand is an Indian professional sprinter and current national champion in the women's 100 metres event. She is the third Indian woman to ever qualify for the Women's 100 metres event at the Summer Olympic Games.

However, these achievements are not enough.

Why does being gay crime?

Scientifically, being gay is totally fine, and humans are not only the who have homosexual relationship. There are more than 430 species which are identified having homosexual couples/ relationships.

Socially, there are reasons for considering gays as second class citizens as the concept has been the same through out the world. However, some of the nations have improved but there is long list of countries who need to understand what LGBT community is about.

India has diversity of faith, and conflicts arise from this diversity. However, all these different communities share a biggest common ground- ‘narrow-mindedness’.

There are various types of crimes which offend majority of Indians like thinking for self, wearing clothes the way one wants, choosing a partner of one’s choice, saying no to childbirth in first year of marriage or saying no to second child, being gay and the list goes on.

“Being gay is crime, and gays are the people who cheat.” – This is a myth

 I heard from a person I was counselling three years ago. He did not know about my opinion about sexual preferences at that time. May be, I appeared only ‘straight- marriage’ supporter.

Sharing an opinion about sexual preference does not benefit anyone but harms. People tend to judge, and harass at workplace as well. Friends often shun gay supports as well. Everyone wants to be normal to be accepted among societies.

“Gays are criminals and rapist”- this is a myth

In fact in news and media recent years there have been three cases where husbands were gays and their spouses – one of them committed suicide, one of them was murdered and I did not trace the third one more.

The intention here is not to defend the crime, but to understand the cause of crime. People are pushed into straight marriages, for two reasons. The first, people do not have courage to tell parents due to social reasons. The second, even if people come out, not every parent is understanding.

Same happened in the case of Dutee Chand, at the time she went public about her sexual orientation, the family was the first one to fight against her.

There are even people who hate people who hide. Human mind has weakness for acceptance. It takes a lot of courage to speak the truth. Coming out often does not help.

Come out to whom? 

Not all parents wait for their child to be gay. They want their kid to be normal according to their definition of normal.

In Uttar Pradesh State of India, one girl was caught of having affairs with a boy. What happened next? How many generous people are aware of honor killing in the country?

The girl was murdered by her own family.

Prejudices are so prevalent that inter-cast marriages for straight couples also have a huge challenge. Love marriages are still considered a milestone, and though the scenario has changed. Many parents have changed with time, but that is not enough.  

In this scenario it is understood that, LGBT community has its own struggle to be with the person they desire to be.

Parents and their opinion matters

Parents hold a significant position, and marriage is considered a union between families. Therefore, the fear remains among LGBT members. Parents can be unpredictable and sometimes very brutal but not welcoming as observed in various cases.

If they don’t harm children, they harm themselves. Some of the parents even die being ashamed of their children. Therefore, coming out is not easy – practically life is screwed in every way if the truth is spoken.

Our country does not want to change either as the nation is built by the people. People collectively share narrow mindedness and embarrass the nation at behalf of humanity.

The history repeats daily--- and I see it happening right in front of me.

There are various incidents, like one of the friends of mine from the rainbow group is going to get married. Showing courage will lead the person to death. Speaking the truth will not be accepted and the person will have the guilt of killing parents with the truth.

My friend’s family is orthodox and leaving no option but to get married and ruin a life more. I feel pain as one more life who is dreaming about a happy married life is going to be cheated on.

 ‘The criminal’ which is compelled to be criminal will be humiliated and ‘Parents will be living happily ever after for ten years maximum after screwing the entire life of next generation. No place for the truth.

What Should you do when You are a homosexual?

All the possibilities of hatred are considered, but one should not shy from being who they are.

Till when generations will keep on compromising and live like a dead brain. People will be offended, but you need to be first to accept yourself.

The world changes slow, and it will change.

This is the responsibility of our generation, and if we fail, the next generations will suffer until someone takes a stand.

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