Why a woman should not be independent? - Unpopular Thoughts

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Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Why a woman should not be independent?

''If she earns more, and gets education.... That means she will not 'obey' and will threaten the family system...''

These backward and primitive rumors still prevail in society, and the same society which is famous for its old and rich heritage.

What kind of rich and old culture is it when it represents itself as unwise and brutal towards half of its people?

Why should you be cultural and kill your conscience?


Indian people are known for their old and rich heritage. The cultural routes are integral part of human existence; this has been taught for centuries after centuries. 

Perhaps being cultural has more psychological reasons rather than beneficial for woman.
Do man forget to love and be reasonable after they get education?

No, they act more supportive of other's rights. So, why will a woman turn arrogant?
Certainly she will have more logical understanding and the real life perspective about her life. But, that will make her stronger- as a woman, wife, lover, sister, daughter and mother. 


Woman is not someone's pet that whatever she has been asked to obey, she should. Naturally, they are gifted with a remarkable brain- like- Shakuntala Devi. But they are raised dumb, domesticated to be someone's wife, and that too submissive one, raised to compromise, sacrifice their lives, dreams and ambition.... why?

Because, they are accepted and respected in the society, when they give up everything to the point that they exist to please and take care of everyone but themselves. 

Their only sin starts when they start to think about themselves, where they want to decide for their lives. 

The reason behind is that the majority  sees woman as weak, lesser human, the source of sacrifice, they are not given an opportunity to think and make even a so called mistake of pursuing education, or having a career. 

Why one should not be cultural?

 If we look at the subject 'Culture', it glorifies thousands of reasons which will bring pride in individual. A sense of being better than other human being and more accepted in the community for sure perhaps compels the human being for adopting beliefs related to their culture instead of rationality.

Being cultural often leads to the 'narrow' perception of life. 

The woman should be cultural, the first thing is expected to submit without any logic. She is not suppose to think, or even keep her point- about her choices- the basic choices about her education, career, dress and even for spouse. 


The height of idiocy against woman is crosses millions of times every day. The regretful incidents keep on happening like few years back, the former Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh State of India- Mulayam Singh spoke in a public rally that boys do rape due to their age, and that was fine according to him.

 One of the incident was a comment of the wife of former CM of Bihar State against the women-who go to shopping malls.
I have been observing the reaction of public in social media, and elsewhere. I would like to remind that the woman who raised controversy was supported by her husband and ruled the state for a time being like her husband did. -She gave a statement that she wanted a cultural bride for her sons not the modern woman who goes to mall.


I think we need NOT to avoid such sort of sentences. Is it a time to react? If she says so, there is a segment of society who has such ideology. I have been to villages and I see how they react and consider the modernization as a threat to purity of the society. 

Yes, a society where a dress decides the purity of the character, not her ideas or attitude. Regretfully, they measure morality on these baseless basis. However, it is enough to offend many that someone spoke about it. I will prohibit my urge of being judgemental, let give the lady a chance to describe her perspective. 


Let me analyse it ->  


The lady (who delivered a controversial speech) –


As a mother she might have wanted the best bride for her son, and as far as her statement is concerned, she might be very much proud of her cultural values and inheritance. Those values which might have influenced her opinion like modern girls who go to malls are bad.


What remains guilty here? Is it the lady or her upbringing or the society which handle over the ignorance generation after generation?


Society, which was divided into supporters or opposition-


Some people were opposing the statement, and they exist in same India. Others are the one who expressively or silently support such statements. That worries that society is being divided on cultural preferences.



About woman who shop in malls


Women who go to mall, they all are not singles. If you observe the population of shopping malls, it is open for all genders. Men, women, kids and elderly all can be seen roaming and purchasing the available brands at the best prices one can afford.

 In metro cities and big cities, the concept of mall rose because under one roof, there is competition--for  services and a pleasing atmosphere to visit.

 If you travel along road side, there may be a travelling to the different places; one has to endure harshness of weather, unavailability of restrooms and food etc. What is wrong with malls here or the girls who visit them?


I sniff here; the reason the mall is not the problem. The problem was the independence of a woman. She makes choices and buys things for herself. She is not restricted in the boundaries they set.

Perhaps this is the reason to carry such traditions. I know strong woman scares these people as if she grows strong and independent she would not love. But is it so? Slaves (woman) they are easy to be controlled which is unfortunately considered as love. 

Imagination does not make anything  true, if one segment of society is scared of woman, let them be. That is a part of our culture. ..

The culture which needs to be rejected, redeveloped, and re constituted. 
Independent woman is not the problem, the problems are 'assumptions' and 'insecurities' of society and patriarchal mindset of people where they are harsher towards their daughters. 

They suffocate woman in the name of protection, and they always control her - literally in to a person who has tendency to do the same to her own gender. 

True indeed--  birds born in cage think flying is an illness. 
- Namrata

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